Just like when you’re dating, looking desperate isn’t going to get you anywhere in your job search. If you seem too anxious, employers will question your motives and you’ll lose credibility in an instant.

 What are two signs that you’re coming across the wrong way?

1. You’re Using the “Spray’n'Pray” Technique

If you’re sending out the same resume and cover letter to multiple positions a day, you’re going to look not only desperate but unprofessional and unqualified. A recruiter will disregard a resume from someone who #1, looks like they’ll take any job they can get their hands on and #2, doesn’t even bother to personalize his resume or cover letter for the job in question.

2. You’re Excusing Your Actions with “Someone told me to…”

For too long, the typical ‘expert’ advice was to call the recruiter and/or employer just to “check in” and make sure they read your resume— and put you at the top of the pile. In this day and age, this won’t make you stand out. If anything, you’ll just annoy the recruiter and probably guarantee your resume goes either to the bottom of the pile or in the trash can. A hiring manager wants enthusiasm from a new employee, but not desperation.

But Shouldn’t I Do Whatever It Takes To Get A New Job?

Of course you should try everything—within reason. You only get one chance with each company, and you want to make it count. Instead of applying, imagine being headhunted or even contacted directly by a hiring manager. This would put you in a much stronger bargaining position to leverage from, especially if get a job offer. Try to get yourself referred to a recruiter via somebody else. Or work on your personal branding, start getting active online, give talks in your field and raise your profile. Employers and recruiters will come after you, not the other way around.

How To Avoid Looking Desperate

Have high standards and only go after jobs that you really want. By only applying for the right roles for you, you’ll save your time and effort for the ones that really count. Furthermore, recruiters and employers will respect your integrity and remember you for the next opportunity they have that is more relevant to your preferences.

You want to turn the tables and be truly different than other jobseekers. You don’t want to be pushy. Just like in dating, the hard-to-gets get more offers and can pick and choose. Set standards for yourself, remember your dignity and make it work!